Feeling Stuck

Feeling a bit stuck in life? It happens to the best of us! Like hitting a speed bump on the road, it can slow you down and leave you wondering how to get moving again. But hey, there's no need to panic. In this article, we're going to tackle that stuck feeling head-on and share some practical tips to help you get back on track. So, if you're ready to shake off that feeling of inertia and start moving forward again, stick around—we've got you covered!

Whether you're looking to reignite your passion, break out of your comfort zone, or simply find a new direction, we've got plenty of ideas to help you get unstuck and back on the road to success.

25 minute read

What do we mean when we say we feel stuck?

When we talk about feeling stuck, we're referring to that sense of being trapped in a situation or mindset with no clear way forward. It's like hitting a roadblock on the journey of life, where progress feels slow or non-existent. Feeling stuck can manifest in various aspects of our lives—whether it's feeling stagnant in our careers, stuck in unhealthy patterns in our relationships, or simply feeling uninspired and unmotivated in general. It's a feeling of being caught in a rut, where the days blend together and our sense of direction becomes blurred.

It can show up in all sorts of ways—feeling meh about your job, stuck in the same old routine, or just feeling like you're running on autopilot. Getting unstuck can mean finding a way to get back in the driver's seat of your life.

Understanding feeling stuck

• Transcript

  Many of us spend a large a part of our lives, in one way or another, feeling stuck, that

  is in a state where a strong desire to move forward on an issue meets with an equally

  strong compulsion to stay fixed where one is. For example, we might at one level powerfully

  want to leave a job in finance in order to retrain in architecture – but at the same

  time, remain blocked by a range of doubts, hesitations, counter-arguments and guilty

  feelings. Or we might be impelled to leave our marriage – while simultaneously unable

  to imagine any realistic life outside it. To act feels horrific, but doing nothing is

  killing us as well. Every avenue appears shut off. And so one ruminates, turns over the

  question late at night, tries the patience of therapists – and watches life go by with

  mounting anxiety and self-disgust.

  As an outsider, one might be tempted to ask questions to move things on: Why don’t you

  try to enrol on a course to see if you might like a new area of work? Why don’t you discuss

  your dissatisfactions with your partner? Why don’t you go to counselling? What about

  splitting up? But we’re likely to find that our friend can’t make any progress, whatever

  we say. It seems as if they are subject to a law disbarring them from progressing, not

  a law you’d find in the statutes of the country they live in, but some sort of personal

  law – a law that might go like this: Make sure you don’t achieve satisfaction in your

  career; Make sure your relationship has no life in it but cannot be abandoned; Make sure

  you aren’t happy in the place you live in. In order to understand the origin of these

  laws, we have to look backwards. Difficult childhoods and the complicated families they

  unfold in are the originators of a lot of these restrictive unspoken laws, whose impact

  echoes across our lives. Some of these laws might go like this: ‘Make sure you never

  shine, it would upset your little sister’. ‘You have to be cheerful not to let my depression

  break through.’ ‘Never be creatively fulfilled because it would remind me of my envy’;

  ‘Reassure us that we are clever by winning all the prizes at school’; ‘We need you

  to achieve to make us feel OK about ourselves’. ‘You would disappoint me if you became boisterous

  and one day sexual’. Of course, no one ever directly says such

  things in a family (laws couldn’t operate if they could so easily be seen), but the

  laws are there nevertheless, holding us into a particular position as we grow up and then,

  once we have left home, continuing to surreptitiously distort our personalities away from the path

  of their legitimate growth. It can be hard to draw any connection between adult stuck

  situations and any childhood laws. We may miss the link between our reluctance to act

  at work and a situation with dad at home thirty years before. But we can hazard a principle

  nevertheless: any long-term stuckness is likely to be the result of butting into some sort

  of law inherited unknowingly from childhood. We are stuck because we are being overly loyal

  to an idea of something being impossible generated in the distant past, impossible because it

  was threatening to someone we cared for or depended on.

  Therefore one of the main paths to liberation lies in coming to ‘see’ that the law exists

  and then unpicking its warped and unnecessary logic. We can start by asking whether, beneath

  our practical dilemma, there may be a childhood law at work, encouraging us to stay where

  we are. We can dig beneath the surface problem in search of the emotional structure that

  might be being engaged (in the unconscious, architecture = the creativity dad never enjoyed,

  sexual fulfilment = what hurt my loveable mum). We may discover that some of the reason

  we can’t give up on finance and take up a more imaginative role is because throughout

  childhood, we had to accept a law that we couldn’t be both creatively fulfilled and

  make money – in order to protect our volatile father from his own envy and inadequacy. Or

  we can’t leave our marriage because, unconsciously, we’re coming up against a law from childhood

  that tells us that being a good child means renouncing one’s more bodily and visceral

  sides. The specifics will differ but the principle

  of a hidden law from childhood explains a huge number of adult stucknesses. The way

  forward is, first and foremost, hence to realise that there might be a law in operation when

  we get stuck, that we aren’t merely being cowardly or slow in not progressing; and that

  we feel trapped because we are, in our faulty minds, back in a cage formed in childhood,

  which we have to be able to see, think about and then patiently dismantle. We can along

  the way accept that we are now adults, which means that the original family drama no longer

  has to apply. We don’t have to worry about upsetting parental figures; their taboos were

  set up to protect them but they are making us ill; we can feel sad for the laws that

  these damaged figures imposed on us (often with no active malevolence) but can recognise

  that our imperative is move them aside and act with the emotional freedom that has always

  been our birthright. We may need to be disloyal to a way of being that protected someone we

  cared about or depended on – in order to be loyal to a more important someone still:

  ourselves.

  Our Decision Dice are a tool to help you make wiser decisions in work, love and the rest of your life.

Why do I feel stuck?

Ever wonder, "Why do I feel stuck?" It's a question many of us grapple with at some point, like trying to navigate a maze with no clear exit. Feeling stuck can stem from various sources—maybe you're feeling unfulfilled in your current job, unsure about your next steps in life, or simply overwhelmed by the pressures and expectations around you. But here's the thing: understanding why you feel stuck is the first step toward finding a way out.

• Lack of clarity

  Uncertainty about your goals or direction in life can leave you feeling like you're treading water.

• Fear of failure

  The fear of making the wrong choice or falling short of expectations can paralyse you into inaction.

• Comfort zone syndrome

  Sticking to what's familiar and comfortable, even if it's not fulfilling, can keep you stuck in a rut.

• Limited beliefs

  Negative self-talk and limiting beliefs about your abilities or worthiness can hold you back from pursuing your dreams.

• External pressures

  Pressure from family, society, or cultural expectations can make it difficult to follow your own path.

• Burnout

  Feeling exhausted and depleted from overwork or chronic stress can zap your motivation and creativity.

• Lack of support

  Not having a supportive network or resources to help you navigate challenges can leave you feeling stuck and alone.

Signs you might be feeling stuck in life

There are some telltale signs that you might be feeling a bit stuck in life, and recognising them is the first step toward breaking free and finding your groove again. So, if you've been feeling a bit off lately, check out these signs to see if you might be feeling stuck:

• Lack of excitement

  You used to get jazzed about life, but lately, everything just feels kinda meh.

• Feeling restless

  You're itching for a change but not sure what you want or how to get there.

• Frustrated or irritable

  Little things that never used to bother you are suddenly driving you up the wall.

• Constant worry

  Your mind is constantly buzzing with worries and what-ifs, making it hard to focus on anything else.

• Lack of motiviation

  You're struggling to find the energy or enthusiasm to tackle even the simplest tasks.

• Feeling disconnected

  You're going through the motions, but you don't feel connected to what you're doing or the people around you.

• Self doubt

  You're second-guessing yourself and your abilities, wondering if you're on the right path or if you're just kidding yourself.

What causes you to feel stuck?

The causes of feeling stuck can vary widely from person to person, and what's holding one person back might not even register as a blip on someone else's radar. It could be a combination of factors—like feeling unfulfilled in your job, struggling with relationship issues, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the pressures and expectations of life. Maybe it's a lack of clarity about your goals or a fear of failure that's keeping you frozen in place. Or perhaps it's the weight of past experiences or limiting beliefs that's holding you back.

Whatever the case, understanding what's causing you to feel stuck is the first step toward finding your way out of the fog and into clearer skies.

Making a break through

• Transcript

  It is a quirk of our minds that not every emotion we carry is fully acknowledged, understood

  do something with me

  close your eyes for just one moment

  and take a breath

  and exhale

  when you hear the word stuck

  what comes up for you

  what picture

  what feeling

  where do you feel that in your body

  take one more breath in

  and exhale open your eyes

  I ask the very same questions to my

  community and the in the answers were

  very interesting words like hopeless

  frustrated uncertain like a lost kid on

  a fanfare

  can you relate to any of those I

  certainly can it is fascinating that no

  matter what path I take or no matter

  what decision I make in my life I end up

  feeling Frozen like a deer caught in

  headlights unable to move forward

  overwhelm by fear and uncertainty

  now after having worked with hundreds

  and hundreds of people with different

  backgrounds and and with different

  cultures at different stages in their

  lives

  I came to realize that this feeling of

  stagnation

  is something that everyone experiences

  it's a reoccurring pattern

  in all of our lives

  and so let's just relax for a moment

  you I we are not alone in this journey

  but why is it that we're associating

  these moments and these feelings with

  something negative

  as a crisis

  after having or analyzing rather

  hundreds of coaching sessions I realized

  that there are three patterns that

  continue to pop up like a persistent

  Melody

  pattern number one living your life

  based on outside expectations versus

  internal desires

  pattern number two the inability or

  struggling to regulate yourself and your

  emotions

  and pattern number three pulling away

  from meaningful connections with others

  these patterns Deliver Us with an

  internal conflict

  self-doctorizes and we're unable to move

  forward or make a decision creating that

  feeling of stagnation

  some people even refer to it as an

  identity crisis

  now you want to know a secret

  these moments or phases as an identity

  crisis

  they are not

  unavoidable you can you cannot not have

  them

  they're part of our life essentially

  there are meant for us to experience

  so the key is not to avoid them

  the key is learning how to navigate

  through them

  in my early adulthood I had no clue how

  to do that heck no one teaches us these

  things

  that left me feeling hopeless over and

  over again leading to one phase of

  Bernard and depression after the other

  but now

  armed with my own wisdom and the wisdom

  from the people that I've been working

  with I'm here today to share with you a

  simple three-step process that you can

  take with you after today and that will

  help you to say through these

  challenging moments with more calmness

  ease cultivating self-trust and

  empowerment along the way

  I call it the connected method very

  simple yet very powerful in the

  connected method you're connecting to

  Three core live dots

  let's get into them

  life that number one

  connect to your heartbeat

  you see after my bachelor's at age 22 I

  had a brilliant idea

  let's move to Dubai

  I bought a one-way ticket

  and I landed on Dubai's vibrant airport

  ready to conquer the world

  little did I know that this experience

  would shape me in ways and never

  expected

  at that time I took on an internship

  that paid 400 euros and that was on the

  quest to get a full-time job that

  matches more my experience my background

  I send out 242 CVS which gave me at the

  end three interviews

  kinda promising right

  well

  imagine me in a glass World meeting room

  facing a panel of interviews

  interviewers

  interview Horror Story I stuck I froze

  like a popsicle in the freezer leg

  and after an agonizing 90 minutes

  the the hiring manager dropped his pen

  on the table he looked at me and he said

  Claudia that was very disappointing

  please do not expect to hear back from

  us

  ouch I left the shiny office building

  tears streaming down my face

  feeling defeated

  what do I do now a decision had to be

  made so I bought another one-way ticket

  this time back home to move in with my

  parents with minus in my bank account

  no clue what I'm gonna do next

  feeling like a failure

  but hey couple of years fast forward at

  age 28 I thought I had it all figured

  out

  I was a data analytics manager

  at the global tech company and I was

  leading a global team rubbing shoulders

  with the executives

  and

  at that time I have been living in six

  different countries across four

  continents

  earning promotion after promotion

  kinda successful right family France

  would say that my life was picture

  perfect but why do I feel like a failure

  still inside of me

  why is it that I still feel like a

  traveler lost in unknown territories

  without a map

  there's the here here is the pattern

  that keeps coming up

  feeling stagnant

  in in the phases where it feels stagnant

  self-doubt creeps up

  in these moments it's what happens is we

  question our identity Who Am I who am I

  if I'm not this person

  it leaves us feeling trapped in the

  roller coaster of self-doubt and

  soul-searching

  not knowing what to do next is this

  internal battle between who we should be

  versus who we want to be

  but here's the truth I wish I would have

  known earlier

  you are not meant to be only one version

  of yourself

  you are meant to evolve to grow to

  redefine yourself over and over again

  for real Embrace this freedom to explore

  yourself without any judgment

  let this moment not be a moment of an

  identity crisis

  but rather let this moment be a moment

  of an identity breakthrough

  so here's what to do in Step number one

  connect your heart put your and you feel

  free to do with me to learn it take your

  both hands put it on your chest

  connect your Heartbeats

  taking a breath

  visualize it

  connect with it

  and an asylum moment

  say to yourself I am breaking through

  very good

  what happens here is you get away from

  the racing mine and the grounds in the

  in the moment right here and it gives

  you permission to change it gives you

  permission to be different

  life DOT number two

  connect to your younger you

  you see the younger you is a part of you

  that

  that brings up fears from past

  situations brings us fears of failure

  making mistakes of standing out

  even when I Was preparing for this very

  talk my 10 year old self popped up

  carrying the weight of a very seemingly

  insignificant moment from a school

  classroom

  I was tasked to stand in front of my

  classmates and read a passage from a

  book

  I read about a girl traveling across the

  sea to an island

  and in a moment I mispronounced and

  instead of islands I said Island

  classmates erupted in laughter pointing

  at me laughing at me mocking me ever

  since then

  you see that moment is so small in the

  grand scheme of life

  but it left the mark

  and so as as I Was preparing for this

  talk here she came up because in that

  moment I Associated making mistakes with

  embarrassment which leads to shame kind

  of like I did just earlier in the talk

  when I when I froze a little bit

  now the point here really is that we all

  have these younger versions of ourselves

  that keep coming up especially when we

  do something that is very uncomfortable

  so the key here is not to push the

  younger version away the key is to

  knowing how to re-parent yourself

  providing reassurance guidance and

  safety for that part

  so what to do in Step number two to

  connect to a younger you

  after and feel free to do with me again

  after you connect with your heart and

  your heartbeat give yourself a little

  squeeze

  connect with the younger version

  visualize it

  and in a silent moment say to yourself

  it's okay to make mistakes

  this simple act here with that

  affirmation

  is giving the younger version what it

  needs security

  life DOT number three

  connect to others

  last year I had a very interesting

  encounter on a two-hour flight

  I was sitting next to an elderly man and

  as the stewardess was passing by

  offering refreshments

  the demand he tapped on my shoulder and

  he looked at me and said what do you

  want it's on me

  honestly my first reaction

  what a weirdo

  this is yeah maybe you thought this too

  right now but this is where I realized

  the real problem that I had

  is that

  a stranger offering a congestion

  starting conversation became something

  awkward rather than normal

  so what happened to the times 10 years

  ago where this would be the the natural

  part of our lives

  now

  we started in that moment chatting he

  introduced me to his wife and

  I learned I learned from his life wisdom

  and some lessons that really shaped me

  but it was not only the conversation to

  shaped me but it was the realization

  that in the moments where we feel most

  stagnant these are also the moments

  where we're most disconnected from

  others

  and it's also in these moments where we

  forget about the power of human

  connection

  now I want you to take a look around the

  room for a moment

  for real don't be shy take a look around

  the room

  very good nice great job

  so according to a 2021 research done by

  workplace intelligence partnered up with

  Oracle they discovered that 76 of people

  are struggling with the feeling of

  stuckness at any given time in their

  life in any area

  what does this mean that means that the

  majority here in this room

  are right now experiencing some sort of

  frustration stagnation

  uncertainty maybe even an identity

  crisis

  with this in mind I challenge you

  connect with each other connect make eye

  contact with the Barista that you go to

  every day and say say their name say

  hello in the elevator when you enter in

  there or simply start a conversation the

  next Journey

  and then what to do step three in the

  connected method after you connect with

  your heartbeat and your younger version

  connect with others

  and in a tiny silent moment say to

  yourself

  I can make a difference

  in summary the connected method consists

  of three steps

  let's practice them together

  so first step

  everyone follow me connect to your

  heartbeat and say I am breaking through

  step two

  squeeze yourself connect to your younger

  version and say

  it's okay to make mistakes

  and step number three connect to others

  and say I can make a difference

  amazing

  do this every day takes you less than 30

  seconds what happens when you do that is

  that you don't push away these

  Sensations or emotions of feeling

  stagnant

  but instead

  you actually allow yourself for 30

  seconds during the day

  to be a human being rather than a human

  doing

  and so take them with you experiment and

  see how they were alive how they will

  allow you to navigate through these

  moments with more ease and calmness

  now imagine imagine a world where we

  celebrate ourselves for the ups and the

  downs

  and where we actually reconnect the Dot

  from feeling stuck as a sign of a crisis

  to a new DOT where feeling stuck is a

  sign of a breakthrough

  so another challenge for you

  the next time you meet your friends

  colleagues or family members

  instead of saying hey how are you

  ask them what are you stuck with right

  now

  thank you

How do I stop feeling stuck?

Feeling stuck is like being stuck in traffic—you're itching to move forward, but it feels like you're going nowhere fast. The good news? You don't have to stay stuck in neutral forever!

There are plenty of ways to shake off that feeling of passivity and start moving forward again. Whether it's making small changes to your daily routine, seeking out new experiences, or setting goals to work towards, there's no shortage of ways to get unstuck and start living life on your own terms. So, if you're ready to break free from the grip of stagnation and chart a course towards a brighter future, check out these tips to help you get unstuck.

• Mix things up

  Break out of your routine and try something new, whether it's a hobby, a class, or a weekend adventure.

• Set goals

  Give yourself something to work towards by setting clear, achievable goals that align with your values and priorities.

• Take small steps

  You don't have to overhaul your entire life overnight. Start small and focus on making gradual progress towards your goals.

• Reach of for support

  Don't be afraid to lean on friends, family, or a therapist for support and guidance as you navigate your way forward.

• Focus on you

  Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally by prioritising activities that nourish and rejuvenate you.

• Challenge limiting beliefs

  Identify and challenge any negative or limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from reaching your full potential.

• Celebrate process

  Acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small, as you make progress towards getting unstuck and moving forward.

Written by Cara Hernon BSc Medical Science

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