How Can I Stop Being a Narcissist? (And Actually Change for Good)

If you've ever wondered, "How can I stop being a narcissist?"—congratulations. The fact that you're even asking this question is a big step toward self-awareness and change.

Narcissistic traits can show up in many ways—like struggling to take criticism, needing constant validation, or having difficulty empathizing with others. But here's the good news: narcissism isn't a life sentence. With self-reflection, effort, and the right strategies, you can develop healthier relationships and a more balanced sense of self.

In this guide, we’ll break down what narcissistic behavior looks like, why it develops, and—most importantly—how to change it.

9 minute read

Understanding narcissistic traits vs. narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)

Having narcissistic traits doesn’t necessarily mean you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). NPD is a diagnosable mental health condition, while narcissistic tendencies can exist on a spectrum.

Narcissistic traits

Common narcissistic traits include:

• A strong need for admiration and validation.

• Sensitivity to criticism or rejection.

• Difficulty empathizing with others’ feelings.

• A sense of entitlement or superiority.

• Manipulative or controlling behaviors (even if unintentional).

These traits can develop as defense mechanisms—often rooted in childhood experiences, unmet emotional needs, or deep-seated fears of inadequacy. The key takeaway? Narcissistic tendencies are often learned, which means they can also be unlearned.

Narcissistic personality disorder

Unlike occasional narcissistic traits, NPD is more rigid and can significantly impact relationships, work, and overall well-being. Common signs include an exaggerated sense of self-importance, frequent fantasies about success and power, exploiting others for personal gain, hypersensitivity to criticism, and difficulty maintaining healthy relationships. People with NPD often struggle to recognize their behaviors as problematic, making professional intervention essential for meaningful change.

Can i recover from being a narcissist?

If you’re wondering whether real change is possible, the answer is yes—but it takes time and effort. Recovery from narcissistic behaviors depends on a few factors, including self-awareness, willingness to change, and the support available.

Studies suggest that while deeply ingrained narcissistic tendencies can be challenging to overcome, meaningful change is achievable with consistent effort. Those who actively seek self-improvement—especially with professional help—have a higher likelihood of developing healthier behaviors. The key lies in recognizing the problem, committing to personal growth, and practicing self-awareness daily.

How to stop being a narcissist - steps to overcoming narcissistic behavior

1. Build self-awareness

Change starts with recognizing your own behaviors. Try keeping a journal to track interactions where you:

• Struggled with criticism.

• Felt the need to dominate a conversation.

• Reacted defensively instead of listening.

Reflection helps identify patterns, making it easier to adjust them over time.

2. Work on developing empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Here’s how you can strengthen it:

• Practice active listening: Focus on what the other person is saying without thinking about your response.

• Put yourself in their shoes: Imagine how they might feel in a given situation.

• Ask open-ended questions: This shows genuine interest in others’ perspectives.

3. Challenge entitlement and control

Feeling like you deserve special treatment or always need to be in control can be a sign of underlying insecurity. To counter this:

• Remind yourself that everyone’s needs and feelings matter—not just yours.

• Let others take the lead in conversations and decision-making.

• Accept that sometimes, things won’t go your way—and that’s okay.

4. Work on regulating your emotions

If criticism or rejection triggers a strong emotional reaction, try:

• Pausing before responding – Take a deep breath and count to five.

• Reframing the situation – Instead of "They don’t respect me," think, "They’re offering feedback to help."

• Practicing mindfulness – Meditation and grounding techniques can help with emotional regulation.

5. Get support

A therapist or counselor can provide guidance tailored to your experiences. Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you:

• Identify unhealthy thought patterns.

• Develop healthier ways of relating to others.

• Address any deep-seated insecurities fueling narcissistic behavior.

Change takes time

Breaking old patterns takes time, but consistency is key. Here are some tips to stay on track:

• Be patient with yourself – Change won’t happen overnight.

• Surround yourself with honest people – Trusted friends or mentors can hold you accountable.

Celebrate small wins – Noticing progress, even in small ways, reinforces positive change.

If you're reading this means you're already on the right path. Recognizing narcissistic tendencies isn’t easy, but it’s the first step toward growth and healthier relationships.

If you’re serious about making a change, start small. Practice self-awareness, work on empathy, and be open to feedback. And if you need support, don’t hesitate to seek professional help—it can make a world of difference.

Written by Cara Hernon BSc Medical Science

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